Kim Jong-Un ‘Is So Fat From Eating Cheese That He Has Broken His Ankles’

http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/01/kim-jong-un-is-so-fat-from-eating-cheese-that-he-has-broken-his-ankles-4888448/

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Rumours of a coup after the mysterious disappearance of despot Kim Jong-un have been put to bed after it was revealed the North Korean leader is merely recovering from surgery – after cheese-fuelled weight gain caused him to fracture his ankles.

Unbridled daily binges on Emmental imported from Switzerland are believed to be responsible for the dictator’s rapid weight gain, with some defectors speculating he was trying to match the considerable bulk of his grandfather, Kim Il-sung.

And South Korea’s largest newspaper claims that the tubby tyrant is in fact recovering from two fractured ankles after the strain of his expanding waistline put pressure on a pre-existing injury – and caused the bones to crack.

‘I heard that Kim Jong-un injured his right ankle in June after pushing ahead with on-site visits and ended up fracturing both ankles because he left the injury unattended,’ an unnamed source told Chosun Ilbo. The source added that the 31-year-old had undergone an operation at the Bonghwa Clinic, an exclusive hospital for high-ranking party members.

Kim, who has not been seen in public in almost a month, missed a session of the Supreme People’s Assembly in Pyongyang for the first time since ascending to power in 2011, sending the gossip mill into overdrive.

Chinese social media Weibo went crazy with reports that a former North Korean vice marshal had overthrown Kim in a coup, while outside commentators speculated he had developed gout, which runs in his family.

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Tillamook Cheese Vans Melt Into Thin Air In California

tillamook-cheese-busesMANTECA (CBS13) – Police say that the whole Tillamook Cheese Tour truck caravan was stolen from the parking lot of a Manteca hotel Saturday morning.

The trailer was parked at the Hampton Inn along Bass Pro Drive in Manteca, Manteca Police say. At some point between 12:30 and 6:30 a.m., police say, thieves took off with the whole caravan of vehicles – which not only includes a pickup truck and a trailer, but three classic Volkswagen Mini Buses.

The VW Mini Buses were in the trailer, which was attached to a Ford F-350, when the theft happened, police say. Police say that the VW Mini Buses alone are worth about $100,000 each. The buses are used as a part of Tillamook’s promotional tour, each one highlighting the company’s different cheese, yogurt and ice cream products.

It shouldn’t be too hard to spot the vehicles, as all of them are custom-painted orange with the “Tillamook” logo emblazoned on the sides. Anyone who knows where the vehicles might be is asked to call the Manteca Police Department at (209) 456-8101. The following is the vehicle’s description, along with their license plate numbers:

♦ 2008 Ford F350, Oregon License plate number Y116821
♦ Wells Cargo Trailer, Oregon License plate number TF1144
♦ 1964 VW Mini Bus, Oregon License plate number YUM4
♦ 1966 VW Mini Bus, Oregon License plate number YUM5
♦ 1959 VW Mini Bus, Oregon License plate number YUM6

 

University of Vermont Employee Embezzled Over $185,000 from College’s Cheese Making Program

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BURLINGTON, Vt. (AP) — A former University of Vermont employee who pleaded guilty to embezzling at least $185,000 from the college’s cheese making program is going to prison for 13 months.

Jody Farnham of Burlington was sentenced Monday in federal court in Rutland. She had pleaded guilty to charges she cashed tuition checks for her own use that were earmarked for the college’s Vermont Institute for Artisan Cheese, where she was an administrator.

Federal prosecutors say she also used UVM credit cards for personal purchases. The cheese institute closed in May 2013 after years of operating losses.

Farnham’s lawyer declined to comment. She was ordered to report to prison next month.

Woman Arrested After Stealing Bible and Cheese From Wal-Mart

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Thou shalt not steal.

A South Carolina woman has been arrested after she stole a bible and cheese from a Walmart.

Frances Thomas put the Good Book in her purse while shopping inside the store in Spartanburg. Light-fingered Thomas also stole some socks.

Thomas was stopped by store detectives after leaving the store and booked into the county jail.

The Bible was recovered and “are resellable,” said police.

Jailhouse Cook Licked Cheese and Served it to Officers

cheeselickhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjxiQc8_5yA

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — A cook at a New Mexico facility that trains state corrections employees faces battery charges after authorities say she secretly licked sandwiches then served them to probation and parole officers.

KOAT-TV reports Yolanda Arguello was charged last week following witness interviews into the bizarre allegations at the South Valley New Mexico Women’s Recovery Academy in Albuquerque.

According to a criminal complaint, witnesses told investigators that the 59-year-old would take a piece of cheese, lick it and put it on sandwiches at the academy. Another witness told authorities Arguello was seen sucking on an ice cube and putting it back into a cup before handing it to a staff member.

She is charged with three counts of battery on a peace officer. It was unknown if she had an attorney.

34,000 Pounds of Vermont Cheese Grilled on the Highway

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RICHMOND, Vt. – A cheese truck caught fire on I-89N just north of exit 11 (Richmond exit) Friday morning.

A press release says the truck was carrying 34,000 pounds of cheese.  Officials believe the fire was caused by a mechanical failure of the trailer’s brakes.

The truck driver was not injured during the fire. The driver was transported to Fletcher Allen Healthcare from an unknown medical condition he received when he tried to disconnect the truck from the burning trailer.

The trailer and its contents are a complete loss. The northbound lane in that area on I-89 was closed for about an hour.

NOTE: Thanks and a tip of the hat to Kat Bennett!

Cheese Dip Fight Lands Man in Madison County Jail

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A Commerce man was taken into custody last week after he and his wife got into a fight over cheese dip. The man was charged with one count of battery FVA.

According to the incident report, the man’s wife told officer Chad Parr that the two had had a physical altercation but that it was “nothing major.” Parr noted that she had red marks around her neck and on her face, but she denied that the man choked her; however she did say that he wrapped his legs around her waist and would not let go of her.

The man told Parr they were arguing over cheese dip and it got out of hand.  The man said his wife came up and pushed him on the shoulder trying to get him to go to the bedroom and talk to her.

According to the man, she continued to try to fight with him and he grabbed her and held her on the ground. The man was then placed under arrest for battery as well as a probation violation out of Cobb County.