New Hampshire Chef Had Sex With Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket

thotpocket_Hot_PocketNot a day goes by that someone doesn’t attain Internet fame for doing something completely moronic online.

Case in point: This week, a young man, tweeting under the handle @versacepoptarts (aka Thot Pocket) skyrocketed to the heights of social media celebrity/infamy by documenting his sexual exploits with a microwaved Hot Pocket.

The madness began when he posted a Vine of himself violating a box of brown-sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts. The clip was quickly removed, but Thot Pocket took to Twitter to celebrate his conquest.

Emboldened by the response, and excited to increase the number of his Twitter followers, he made an online vow: If his message was retweeted 420 times, he’d video himself abusing a Hot Pocket. His goal attained, the man did the deed and posted the results online. From there, the Internet fame cycle took hold.

And then, just like that, it was all over. Thot Pocket’s Twitter account was suspended, and he’s now banned from Vine and blocked by @hotpockets.

Offbeat food site Firstwefeast.com tracked down the 18-year-old behind the stunt (who preferred to remain anonymous) to get the real story behind his exploits. From the interview:

Take me through the experience.
I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot. I put it in the fridge for a little bit and I was like, “Dude, I’m gonna have to use a condom.”

When you heated it up, did you follow the instructions on the box as if you were going to actually eat a Hot Pocket?
I don’t even read boxes or anything. I put it in for, like, four minutes I think.

What kind of Hot Pocket was it?
Ham and cheese.

Why did you pick that one?
Um, it’s just the only one. I got out of work and I stopped at a convenience store because I knew I hit the goal on my retweets or whatever.

When you hit the [retweet] goal did you have a moment of realization like, “Oh wait, now I actually have to do this?”
Well, I knew I was gonna hit the goal no matter what … but then it was the fact of actually going and posting it. I was kind of hesitant at first. I mean, my name’s got out there, but people don’t really know who I am.

I don’t know—I feel like it’s gonna, like, f*ck sh*t up maybe in the future …. because I was trying to make a clothing company, actually.

Was your goal to create big accounts that would help you promote the clothing company?
No, the goal of this, I guess, was just to … see what happens. It went really viral quick.

So do you regret putting your face out there?
I don’t really care. I haven’t gotten noticed in public yet. And I’m still young—I’m 18—so it’s not like I’m gonna still look like this in three years.

Have you always been the class clown type?
Yeah, I was always like that. Lately I haven’t been going to school or anything and a lot of my friends are just, like, at college and I’m working full time, so I guess I was just taking it out on [Twitter].

What do you do for work?
I’m a chef.

At what type of restaurant?
It’s a seafood place. I’m the grill guy. They do everything—it’s just sort of, like, a general restaurant—a lot of fried food though.

Have you ever violated any of the food at the restaurant?
[Laughs] No.

Do you ever think about it while you’re cooking?
No. But the other day I was like, “Wow, some of these people would be shocked that I work in a restaurant.”

Be honest: Was [molesting a Hot Pocket] a good feeling?
Yeah, I would definitely recommend it, if you’re lonely. I wouldn’t recommend putting it on Vine, but I’d recommend f*ckin’ a Hot Pocket probably. It wasn’t bad. It’s messy, though.

Did you eat it after?
No. [Laughs] I didn’t. I took a selfie with it after. I never posted it though.

You’re from New Hampshire?
Yeahhhh.

Would you say there’s not much going on in New Hampshire?
There’s nothing going on. I don’t know…it’s really f*cking cold here, that’s all I can say.

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