$2.09 Cheeseburger in Her Pants Nets Woman a 5-Year Prison Term


A Cheeseburglar Has Learned It May Be Best To Ignore Those Hunger Pangs.

GLOUCESTER — A Gloucester Circuit Court judge on Tuesday sentenced Hilda Ann Taft to six months in prison. Her crime?

Stuffing a cheeseburger in her pants and trying to walk out of the Route 17 Little Sue convenience store in Wicomico back in February. The theft of a $2.09 cheeseburger is Taft’s fifth felony conviction. She also has 12 misdemeanor convictions.

“She’s at least consistent,” said Monique Donner, assistant commonwealth’s attorney. “Her behavior is the same over and over again.”

Shaw said it was hard to balance her lengthy criminal record with the object of the theft. He sentenced her to five years imprisonment before suspending all but six months. “I guess they got the cheeseburger back or got restitution?” Shaw said.

Commonwealth’s Attorney Robert Hicks shook his head, drawing a quick reply from Shaw: “I won’t order restitution.”


Man Charged With Assault for Throwing Cheetos at His Dad

Patrick_Hamman_CheetoDES MOINES, IOWA – A Des Moines man was charged with domestic assault Sunday after throwing a bag of Cheetos at his father.

Twenty-two-year-old Patrick Hamman was arrested after the bag of cheesy chips hit his father, Michael Hamman, in the face.

Police said the bag hit his father’s glasses, causing a cut to the bridge of his nose.

The police report said — quote— “Michael’s T-shirt was also covered in Cheeto dust.”

Police said Patrick, who lives with his father, admitted that he was on methamphetamine at the time of the argument.