Rumours of a coup after the mysterious disappearance of despot Kim Jong-un have been put to bed after it was revealed the North Korean leader is merely recovering from surgery – after cheese-fuelled weight gain caused him to fracture his ankles.
Unbridled daily binges on Emmental imported from Switzerland are believed to be responsible for the dictator’s rapid weight gain, with some defectors speculating he was trying to match the considerable bulk of his grandfather, Kim Il-sung.
And South Korea’s largest newspaper claims that the tubby tyrant is in fact recovering from two fractured ankles after the strain of his expanding waistline put pressure on a pre-existing injury – and caused the bones to crack.
‘I heard that Kim Jong-un injured his right ankle in June after pushing ahead with on-site visits and ended up fracturing both ankles because he left the injury unattended,’ an unnamed source told Chosun Ilbo. The source added that the 31-year-old had undergone an operation at the Bonghwa Clinic, an exclusive hospital for high-ranking party members.
Kim, who has not been seen in public in almost a month, missed a session of the Supreme People’s Assembly in Pyongyang for the first time since ascending to power in 2011, sending the gossip mill into overdrive.
Chinese social media Weibo went crazy with reports that a former North Korean vice marshal had overthrown Kim in a coup, while outside commentators speculated he had developed gout, which runs in his family.